


Looks Like You're Suffering (From a Lack of Vitamin Me)

by ubixuitous



Category: Free!
Genre: ? maybe, College AU, Fluff, M/M, pick-up lines galore, rei goes to med school and nagisa's just kind of there, some sort of AU???
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 02:07:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ubixuitous/pseuds/ubixuitous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction."</p><p>The only response Nagisa got was a bewildered, mildly horrified, look from the dark haired male before him, before Rei promptly turned on his heel and walked out the room, cheeks flushed red.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looks Like You're Suffering (From a Lack of Vitamin Me)

**Author's Note:**

> I am skilled in the art of starting fics and never completing them—  
> Also, I don’t recall this being done before (or maybe I just missed it somehow??), so leT’S DO THIS.  
> 90% of these pick-up lines were leeched off of sites I found through Google.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive any mistakes because it's 3:30 am and i'm ashdjakladcmaeiz; ;-;

"If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?"

 

"…I’m sorry,  _what_?”

"Uhm, isn’t that what it’s called? I could’ve sworn that’s what we studied in high school…"

"…I’ll go call your doctor."

"No!" Nagisa practically yelled, wincing at the loudness of his own voice as he reached out to grab a hold of the young intern’s wrist. "Uhm, I— I wish I was your coronary artery, so that I could be wrapped around your heart!" 

The intern blinked, dark eyes lighting up in the slightest show of amusement behind bright red frames. The corners of his lips twitched upwards ever so lightly before he schooled back a passive expression, gently pulling his wrist out of Nagisa’s hold. Glancing down at the clipboard in his other hand, he pressed his lips together in a thin line, brows knitting thoughtfully. “Nagisa Hazuki, is that right?” 

Nagisa nodded in earnest, bright eyes widening in acknowledgement as he leaned forward on the examination bench. 

"Partial tear of the gastrocnemius muscle and slight pain noted over the plantaris,” he murmured, eyes skimming over the notes pinned to the clipboard. “Well, your vitals seem to be healthy, at the very least. All we need to do is wrap up that sprain and you can be on your way.”

Nagisa tried not to look  _too_  disappointed. He sighed anyway, slumping forward on the bench as his lips pulled into a small pout. He read off the name tag on the taller boy’s lab coat for the fifth time that day. _Rei Ryuugazaki_. It had a nice ring to it. He was pretty sure that the  _kanji_  for it had a beautiful meaning as well. Sighing again, he pursed his lips slightly, watching as Rei dutifully wrapped a compression wrap around his ankle to support the sprained muscle. 

"Will I see you again?" he prodded, swinging his legs back and forth once Rei stepped back and adjusted his glasses over the bridge of his nose. 

Lifting a brow, Rei pursed his lips slightly and hummed. “Well, I certainly hope not— doing so would require you to be unwell or injured in some form and I would not advise that in the least.”

Brows furrowing once more, Nagisa huffed and hopped off the bench, momentarily forgetting about his sprained ankle and resulting in him toppling over with a strained yelp, falling face forward onto the ground as he grabbed at Rei’s hand and pulled the taller boy down with him. What resulted was a mess of tangled, awkward limbs, cracked glasses, and a tearful Nagisa curled up on the floor as he nursed his wounded ankle. 

 

.

 

The next time they met was on a Tuesday morning, three weeks later. A sprained wrist was to blame this time, as Nagisa hopped into the clinic. His gait was unsteady, steps light and careful, still slightly pained from the sprain prior. He cradled his left wrist to his chest as his gaze roamed around the small but orderly office, his doctor typing out a prescription for a painkiller. He was mildly disappointed that Rei was nowhere to be found — that is, until…

"Dr. Maeda, Dr. Kawamoto has requested to see you in the paediatric ward."

Nagisa whirled around at the familiar voice, a smile threatening to split his face in half as the door swung open and fell shut behind the newcomer. As Rei lowered his clipboard and looked up, his gaze fell upon Nagisa and he nearly did a double take, breathing in and swallowing at the same time, the dual-action making him choke on his spit as Dr. Maeda stood up with a flick of wrist, turning off his computer screen and holding out the prescription sheet to Nagisa. 

"Very well, Ryuugazaki. Thank you for informing me," he nodded, walking around his desk and flashing Nagisa a parting smile. On his way out, he placed a gentle hand upon Rei’s shoulder— Rei was still finding it a bit difficult to breathe— and patted twice. "If you could wrap up this young boy’s wrist too, it would be great. He’s got a sprain again, I’m afraid."

And with that, he left, leaving the door open behind him and Rei alone with Nagisa who looked as if he’d nearly throw up with excitement at any given second. 

"And you said you didn’t want to see me again," Nagisa spoke up, his eyes mischievous and grin sly. "Yet, you came in just when I was about to leave! I guess it really is fate, Rei-chan!"

"Rei…chan?" Rei echoed, a distant and slightly confused expression alighting in his eyes as he blindly made his way to the cabinets at the back, rummaging through the various medical supplies until he pulled out another, much slimmer compression wrap for Nagisa’s wrist. It very much resembled a bandage but could be tightened around the wrist with a pair of metallic hooks. 

"Mm, isn’t that your name? Rei-chan? It’s a very pretty name," Nagisa gushed, nodding his approval at the choice Rei’s parents had made for him. "What does it mean? Summit? Bell? Elegance? Beautiful? It’d make sense if it was ‘beautiful’, because then it would match your looks and—"

"It’s ‘wise’, actually," Rei mumbled, cutting off the young blond from speaking any further lest he embarrass him even more. His cheeks were already a bright shade of red, hands shaking a little as he wrapped and re-wrapped the band around Nagisa’s wrist. 

"Oh. Oh,  _of course_! Makes sense if you’re working here,” Nagisa chirped, nodding seriously as if it all suddenly made much more sense to him. “The wise and beautiful Rei Ryuugazaki! Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think so?” 

Rei fumbled, dropping the compression wrap altogether, and his blush intensified as he bent down to quickly pick it up and wrap it around Nagisa’s wrist again, choosing not to reply to the quirky blond. 

"So…" Nagisa spoke again after letting about a minute or two of silence pass. He bit his lip, looking down at his secured wrist, before pushing himself up from his seat and looking Rei square in the eyes, belatedly noticing the crack on the surface of the taller boy’s glasses. 

"Are you a doctor? Because you just cured my erectile dysfunction."

The only response Nagisa got was a bewildered, mildly horrified look from the dark haired male before him, before Rei promptly turned on his heel and walked out the room, cheeks flushed red.

Nagisa visibly deflated at yet another failed attempt, wincing as he fell back onto the seat too roughly, the prescription sheet now crumpled in his left hand. 

Maybe that  _was_ a bit too much.

 

.

 

"But Haru- _chaaan_ , I even spent  _hours_ looking up medical pick-up lines!” 

Haruka sighed, face impassive as he studied the two swimsuits he had in hand. His eyes flickered from one to the other, trying to pick out the optimum suit to fit to his liking. 

"Maybe he doesn’t like pick-up lines, Nagisa," he murmured finally, setting down the blue swimsuit in favour of the black one as he turned to look down at Nagisa. 

Haruka had been one of Nagisa’s closest friends since elementary school. Nagisa positively adored him and looked up to him at all times, but he was starting to think that perhaps Haruka’s relationship advice wasn’t always the best. 

Nagisa sighed. It was more of an exasperated huff of air than anything else, and he propped his hands up against his hips, squaring his shoulders indignantly. “ _Everyone_ likes pick-up lines, Haru-chan.”

"Mako-chan, don’t  _you_  like pick-up lines?!” he questioned, defiantly staring up at the ashen blond, his arms coming up to fold across his slender chest. 

Makoto smiled sheepishly, slightly apologetically, as he tilted his head to the side and threw a sidelong glance in Haruka’s direction. “Well, not quite…or, well, I’ve just never been told one so I’m not sure if I’d like it or not, Nagisa.”

"But if  _Haru-chan_ used a pick-up line on you, wouldn’t you like it at least a little bit?” he whined, desperately trying to prove his point. “If Haru-chan came up to you and said something about rearranging the alphabets and putting together ‘U’ and ‘I’, or something, wouldn’t you like it at least a  _little_ bit?” 

Makoto blinked, unable to decide if the mental image of a monotonous Haruka throwing him nonchalant pick-up lines should make him laugh or cry. “A-Ah, I…well, that is to say, I…but Haru’s not  _like_ that, Nagisa,” he tried to say, trying to console the blond somehow in an attempt to be reasonable. “He would never do that anyway, so how could I even imagine it, let alone know if I would like it or not?”

And that was that. 

Nagisa sighed, practically sulking as the three of them made their way to the cashier and patiently waited for Haruka to pay. 

 

.

 

Rei hummed softly under his breath, a vague, somewhat disconnected tune, but a tune nonetheless. Crossing his ankles under the desk, he leaned back against the swivel chair he was seated upon, one hand resting upon the mouse to his laptop, the other wrapped around the handle of a mug of tea. 

He’d been given a rare day off, with no classes to attend and no duties regarding his internship at the local hospital, and, in an attempt to convince himself to relax, he’d put away his textbooks and lecture notes and opened up a few medical journals and articles online instead.

Well, he'd tried to relax, anyway. 

Sighing, he rubbed a hand over his face and glanced at the clock perched upon his desk. The long and short hands of the clock together showed it to be just a few minutes past eleven in the morning and he briefly wondered where all his discipline had gone as he looked down at his pinstriped pajamas and black tee-shirt. Deciding he’d go for a shower and change into something more suitable by 11:30, he turned his attention back to his laptop and typed in the address for Facebook in the address bar. 

It had been quite a while since he’d checked any of social networking accounts but he had to kill time some way, and he’d promised to write to an old friend from high school the other day, and twenty minutes were hardly sufficient for him to start reading a particularly interesting piece on one researcher’s opinion on cell immortality and well — Rei did not want to rush through it. He certainly wasn’t going to leave it half way through and interrupt his perusal with a shower. It would simply have to wait until after he’d showered and had something decent to eat. 

As the blue and white homepage of the site loaded, he blinked, squinting past his (still damaged) glasses. He almost never got any friend requests. He’d had a total of 27 ‘friends’, most of which were family and colleagues at the hospital, and he rarely ever gave out his Facebook account name to anyone. Intrigued, he clicked on the small red notification box, lifting the mug to his lips to take a sip of his tea, and—

He choked. Again. 

Sputtering out hot, hot tea all over his laptop screen and neatly pressed pajamas, Rei gasped in a shuddering breath as he set the mug down upon the desk, still coughing and thumping at his chest with a fist as his eyes landed on the friend request’s display picture.

Surely not. It couldn’t be. 

He was starting to feel mildly paranoid, very literally giving his room an uneasy once-over, the word ‘ _stalker_ ’ ringing in his mind’s ear. Was this, ah, ‘ _Nagisa Hazuki_ ' out to get him? Perhaps he was a government spy set to find Rei in every possible place. Perhaps he was— perhaps…

Perhaps.

Swallowing thickly, he clicked 'confirm' and nearly jumped in his chair when a chat box opened up at the bottom right-hand corner almost instantly. 

 

_**Hazuki**  Nagisa  
28/08, 11:14am_

_Rei-chaaaan!_

_28/08, 11:14am_

_you accepted!!_

_28/08, 11:14am_

_I can’t believe you accepted my friend request!!_

_28/08, 11:15am_

_Wait til Haru chan hears about this_

_28/08, 11:15am_

_he said you never would_

_28/08, 11:16am_

_oh, btw, i didn’t know we went to the same university, rei chan! like , the same campus anyway. i’m taking art and history and business, wbu???_

_28/08, 11:20am_

_oh haha oops wait you’re taking med, right?? should’ve figured that earlier haha sorry_

 

Rei blinked, staring at the oncoming barrage of messages in slight terror, before slamming the laptop cover shut, not even bothering to ‘Shut Down’ first. He was slightly out of breath— God knows why though— as he stared down at his laptop, wide eyed.

 

.

 

_**Hazuki Nagisa  
** 28/08, 11:30am_

_rei chan???? are you there?????_

 

"I think you might have scared him away, Nagisa…"

"What? No way! See, the last message isn’t even ‘seen’ yet, he’s probably just too excited and wants to finish up studying or something equally nerdy before we can talk properly!"

Makoto sighed, gaze softening, and shook his head fondly, playfully ruffling Nagisa’s hair as he walked out of the blond’s room and into the living room of their shared apartment. 

Squinting at the screen, Nagisa crossed his arms over his chest and waited for Rei to reply. He stared at the screen for all of ten seconds before typing out another line, somewhat pleased with himself as he re-read it, before sending it forward and pushing himself off of his chair, following Makoto out of the bedroom to try and cajole in the older boy into making him pancakes.

 

.

 

_**Hazuki Nagisa  
** 28/08, 11:33am_

_Are you stage 3 syphilis because i can’t get you out of my head_


End file.
